It's not about the money, man.

For those of you who aren't my facebook friends and didn't already see this, here's my favorite call from work today (be sure you read this in a drugged up voice):


"Okay sir, Why do you want a home business?"

"Where do you live??"

"I'm calling from Utah, but I think you may have misheard me..."

"I live in California. Have you seen the way people drive here??? I can't leave my house! It's not safe, they're maniacs out there! Living in California is like living in jail... yeah... I can't even leave my house yo." 

"Ooooookay. Got it. Well then a home business sounds perfect for you! Are you looking for a specific amount of monthly income?"

"What is money?"

"Ummm... money is..."

"Let me tell you what money is... it's just paper, man, it's just paper. That's really all it comes down to. You don't need money. Nobody needs money to be happy - am I right?"

"I see your point. Money can't buy happiness, that's true, but..."

"girls don't need money. Girls don't need a man with money to be happy. I mean... it's not about being the rich guy, am I right?? It's not about the money. Girls don't even want the guy with the money. That's NOT what girls want. I know what girls want."

"....."

".... Girls just want a man who can give them sweet lovin, 'cause that's what it's about, ya know?"

"....."

"I mean, you're a lady... aren't I right? You don't want a man with money. You want a man who can give you lots of good lovin..... you agree with me, right? I can tell.. you agree with me."

"....."

"DON'T YOU???"

"Well... I can see where you're coming from, and that's definitely an interesting perspective on life. Love is great. So, anyway... onto my next question... this company would require a $300 investment to start out, are you still interested?" 

"It's not about the money, man."

One minute you think he's interested....

... the next he's trying to book your flight out of the country. 


I've had this happen a few times. 

I'll be having a conversation with a guy I'm interested in and he'll be showering me with compliments telling me what an amazing girl I am...

you would think that would be a good thing, right?  Things must really be going well, right??




It always seems that way until they wrap up the compliments with the grand finale:



"No really, you're awesome.....



You would make SUCH a great missionary!"



This sister missionary craze has given the guys a way to compliment you AND reject you at the same time.  PERFECT.