Okay. Here's the thing. I have a date coming up within the next few weeks with a guy that I am not interested in AT ALL. Super awkward fellow. If you would like to hear the story about how he asked me out sometime, lemme know, it's a goodie. :) However, I will not blog about it (at least not until he's married) because I don't want to give him a bad name in case certain readers realized who it was. So everyone needs to stop telling me to blog about it, capishe?
Well.. yesterday at work I was telling my coworkers about this hilariously awkward ask-out. I had explained how I was sure I was going to have a good story for them soon because I was sure this date was going to be one of the most awkard nights of my life. This guy's a real character...
Anyway... when I got to the point in the story where I accepted the date. One of my coworkers made a face of complete disgust, and told me he had just lost all respect for me.
and I was like...
WHAAA?!?
He pretty told me that I was A) A pansy. and B) A jerk.
A pansy because I didn't have the guts to turn the guy down. Pffft. If there is one thing I'm not lacking it's the ability to reject men. I just don't get a lot of rejection opportunity. I've had to do that nasty turning-guys-down thing before though, and while I don't enjoy it... and things are usually very awkward afterwards.. I get the deed done.
A jerk because how could I be so rude as to accept a date with him when I wasn't even interested.
Apparently I am leading this guy on, only to crush his heart in the future, and squeeze money out of him in the form of dates.
Whoa!! Not my thought process AT ALL! I
always accept first date offers.
I consider the first date to be a time to get to know the other person and have a fun time.
I've only been SLIGHTLY interested in...... a very small number of guys I've gone on dates with. (I will not go into details because if I did all of you would be laughing your head off/weeping at my pathetic dating life.) Most of the guys I've gone on dates with have been friends who wanted to have a good time. A few of them have been guys I barely knew.. or didn't know at all, who wanted to get to know me better. I wasn't interested, but I went because I feel like every guy deserves a chance. I think turning down a first date kind of implies that:
I'm soooo not interested, that I'm not even willing to spend 2 hours getting to know you better before I completely reject you.
I feel like if someone asked me out on a date and I was like "whoooa... I don't like you like that man. We're just friends, we can't go out on ONE DATE! Are you off your rocker?" or "ummm... I really don't know how to say this, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now." Is kind of jumping the gun a little.
I won't go on a second date with this guy, because I feel like his extreme awkwardness is enough to be sure after the first date that it's not going to go anywhere, not even to "good friend" status. I don't want to waste the guys time and money going on more dates. (normally I'd give a guy 3-4 dates first, because first dates are always a little awkward unless you were good friends to begin with.. so I give them a fair chance to win my heart before turning them down.)
But, maybe my coworker has a point. I understand a guy not wanting to waste his money on someone who's not interested. I just.... feel differently I guess. But, hey, maybe I'm crazy... really, it's quite possible that my opinion is with the minority on this.
So.. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject. Especially guys... GO! Seriously, folks, comment. I need some input for future dating endeavors.
