Life's not fair.

I just need to let this out, even though I shouldn't.  I tried writing a letter and not showing anyone, but I'm being an emotional teenage girl right now, who needs to tell the world about why she's upset.  So, since I don't have anyone to tell, and no one really reads this. I'm putting it here... and I'll probably end up deleting it tomorrow because I'll realize it was stupid and negative of me to post it, but I'm posting it.   I'm sick of no one knowing what's going on and I'm sick of everyone being afraid to ask.

Sometimes life isn't fair.

I want to be the skinny, talented girl going to China again with all of my friends.

I don't want to be the one who was told that I wouldn't be invited back for reasons I don't know and understand.

I've been dealing with it fine for the past few months, I was just happy for my friends who get to go.

...but for some reason, last night... I just cracked.

Last year I wasn't the skinny, talented girl who deserved to go to China with all of my friends.  

For some reason, Heavenly Father decided to let me have opportunity I didn't deserve.   For some reason, Heavenly Father felt like I deserved to have adventures and learn some lessons on the other side of the world.

For some reason, life wasn't fair.

It would have been fair for the older, more talented dancers to go.  They had worked hard for longer and were much more skilled in both technique and performance than I was.  They deserved it, but life wasn't fair, and I took a place that many of them should have had.

For some reason, Heavenly Father wants me to stay on this side of the world this time.  He wants me to be the one left behind this time.

For some reason, this time, life is fair.  

Guess what... sometimes it's harder when life is fair.