Phew! Thank goodness someone stopped me from eloping to Vegas!

Sometimes, I have a tendency to explain things poorly... and exaggerate my feelings for men in what I, and most people, think is a humorous manner.  But every once in a while, someone doesn't quite pick up on the whole "joking" vibe, and decides it's time for a serious intervention.  


brief run-down on Tiana-awkward-exaggerated-nonsensical-ness that is my first language  for those of you who don't know me well enough or have a humorous bone in your body... I often say: "We're going to start dating soon, it will happen, I'm determined!"  When what I really mean is:  "He's really really ridiculously good looking"  or I say things like "I plan on marrying him" when what I mean is... "I think he's super attractive AND we actually exchanged some awkward words the other day" get it? good.


sidenote:  there's this guy I think is super attractive at a certain location I frequent - We're getting married.  HA!  that was a test, I hope you were paying attention, because what I really meant was.... he's ridiculously good-lookin', and we speak awkward words together sometimes.


So... yesterday, I got home from my singles ward to find my family in the middle of our home-teaching lesson.  We had a lovely lesson on callings and then our home teacher decided to play catch-up with college me.  So, of course, he asked about how the hunt for a mate was going.  


Home teacher:  So, Tiana, do you have any prospects right now?  Are you dating anyone? 


Me:  (chuckling.. because generally that tends to clear up peoples questions about whether or not I'm joking or  seriously belong in the crazy house)  No, but I'm planning on dating someone soon!  hahaha


Family:  hahahaha (they've all heard my tale about this beautiful specimen of a man before)


Home teacher:  (nervous, confused laughter) Oh, so who is this guy? Tell me about him.


Me:  Well... I see him all the time at [insert location here], and he's just suuuuuuper attractive. I'm pretty sure we're gonna get married. (read in comedic tone)


Family: hahaha... Oh... silly Ti! hahaha


Home teacher: (no laughter, not even the nervous or confused kind) Well, what else do you know about him, do you even know if he's a good guy? 


Me:  Well... that's why we're going to date, so I can find out if he's a good guy... (nervous chuckle as i realize he's not getting the whole "humor" aspect of this conversation)


Home teacher: Is he strong in the gospel?  Does he respect women?  What do you even know about him!?! You want to date him just for his looks???


Me:  Well... he's an RM... and-


Home teacher:  THAT MEANS NOTHING!!!!


Me:  He's funny, and nice, and... I'm just ki-


Home teacher:  *****insert extremely long and unnecessary lecture here detailing why I need to be more careful in my dating life, including, but not limited too:  1. How I should not be handing my kisses out to just any guy who asks.  (HAHAHAHA anyone who knows me please take a moment out of your day to have a good laugh at this one. For those of you who don't... I'm no floosy!)  2. How I should also not be giving any guys any of my attention, or gracing them with my presence unless they fight for it... (hello, spinster-dom!)  3. How I should be careful not to get into an abusive relationship with this guy.... (for all I know he could be a crazy murderer or rapist, right? I've gotta watch out!)  4. Not basing my marriage on looks alone (gee!  I never thought of that... good thing he stopped me before I got to the temple!)  5. How it is important to develop a friendship before dating and marriage (once again... mind BLOWN) 6.  How I need to be careful and not rush into relationships anymore (fun fact... I've never actually been in a relationship.  Most people think I'm toooo cautious and picky. For the record: I'm fine, I just won't waste my time dating someone if I don't like them enough - strange logic, right? I know, I'm a FREAK!)*****


Family: (gets wide eyes, and nervous and confused laughter as they run out of the room and abandon me to this firm scolding)


Me: mmmmmmmk got it.  thanks for the lesson, bye!


Oh how I LOVE these little treats that come with being a young single adult.